How to Find Love Online

This article is focused on the use of online dating sites to find love and happiness. I have observed the online dating industry for some time now, more as a curiosity than as a member.  I joined several dating sites some years ago and ended up getting caught up in how it is that people interact online versus real life. I have also discussed dating and relationships extensively with people I have met who are/were in all types and phases of relationships.

So what have I found?
Interestingly enough, not much that has not already been discussed before.

Offline dating has been going on for thousands of years, and I doubt if anyone today could actually find much to add to the existing literature. I will therefore not try to pontificate in any manner on that aspect of dating, other than to note that most people tend to date within an extended community of friends for the most part. 

When it comes to Internet Dating, which has only been in existence since about 1995 or so, there are some insights that can be shared.

So lets start with some popular misconceptions:
Dating Sites Have Wonderful Matching Algorithms That Guarantee Me a Perfect Match
False – No matter how hard dating sites work at perfecting their compatibility formulas, they are handicapped by customers who lie about themselves, and customers who really have no idea what it is they are looking for. When it comes to relationships, people are much better at saying what they do not want than what they do want.

It Is Less Work To Find My Match On a Dating Site
False – To make a long story short, it takes a lot of time getting to know anyone that you hope to be your life partner. You just cannot take any shortcuts here. In fact, for this aspect of using a dating site it takes more effort because of the anonymous nature of the environment. Everyone is using made up handles, so it is not as if you can check with a mutual friend to see what they are really like.

Internet Dating Sites are a Great Place To Find People to Date
True – If you are a person who uses dating to interact with someone that you are interested in; then a dating site is likely to connect you with many more people than you can possibly find via your own means offline.

Dating Sites Are Better At Connecting You To Your Soul Mate.
False – Quantity does not equal quality. Just because you can see and interact with a lot more people online than you can in real life does not mean that you are being exposed to quality people that you have any real compatibility with, and even if you are compatible from an intellectual point of view, there is no guarantee that you will find the chemistry with them that you need to achieve soul mate status.


So What Good Are Dating Sites Anyway. They are dynamite if you are willing to be open and look outside of your normal comfort zone for possible matches. If you are not successful finding someone the normal way, it is often because you are just looking in the wrong places. Dating sites are amazing in the one single fact that everyone on them is looking to date. You do not have to prequalify each introduction with a lot of tap dancing trying to figure out if the person you are talking to is looking for someone.  If you approach online dating with an open mind, you will likely be able to interact with many more disparate people then you normally hang out with, and in that process, discover more about what you like in other people, which may just change your mind about who you need in your life to complete you.

If you approach education with an open mind, you will get 10 times as much out of it than you would if you try to educate yourself within your existing limits of knowledge and biases when you first start the process. Similarly, with dating sites, if you approach them with an open mind, and are willing to interact with people that you would not normally associate with in your normal day-to-day life, you may just find that the love of your life is not what your brain thought it was looking for.

So, open your heart and give online dating a try.

You can start here:
http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/onlinedating.php

Understanding Sex Appeal

What is the je ne sais quas of sex appeal? The dictionary describes it as”the ability to excite people sexually”, but dictionaries also describe sexy as being”attractive in a sexual way.” You may think that they are the same, but in fact they are not. Lets examine this further.

If a man sees  a cute woman walking down the street wearing a mini skirt, and low cut top for visual impact.  He may trip over his tongue because she looks sexy, but would he take the time for a second look? While sexy and sex appeal are often blurry at the boundaries it is quite common to see someone as described above. So what do you have to do to get a more appreciative  look?

Men tend to focus on what is currently in front of their eyes, and there will always be another sexy girl around the corner. Sexy for the most part will always get attention,but unlike sex appeal they will likely forget what a merely sexy woman looks like within a few minutes. Sexy is eye candy first and foremost, and will seldom get beyond that.  Someone who dresses for  impact can be sexy, but it will seldom lead to someone thinking about you for hours, and that is the major differentiation. Sexy is the whipped cream without the pie.

Sex appeal sex appeal is more than just cute bod, it is more about having poise, and a magnetic charm that emits from a person with a strong self image. When anybody exhibits all these signals they exude an aura that demands recognition by others. This magnetic glow makes those people around you feel good too. A woman with sex appeal will make whatever she wears look great even if it is an old pair of jeans, and tee-shirt. She knows that it's the woman that makes the clothes not the other way around. She instinctively dresses in a style that will always add to and not detract from the image that she portrays to the public. Women with sex appeal are always intelligent individuals  with a sense of humour, and who are comfortable with their own sexuality. We've all been around an up-beat individual  who seems to smile all the time, and laughs a lot, even when things may be concerning for them. It lets people know that they're fun to be with, and this is another trait of sex appeal.

Sex appeal attracts, radiates and commands attention. Females with sex appeal appreciate you in spite of your faults, they  treat each relationship as a fresh new experience and do not expect people to behave like others, either positively or negatively. They compartmentalize their expectations of each acquaintance individually. Sex appeal looks for the good in people, and never hesitates to compliment. This appeal is the natural outcome of their loving and sensual nature as people.

Now do you see the differences? It all boils down to this simple observation-- if you have learned to love yourself, and others,  it will  emanate into sex appeal as, it is all about personal image, self development and stature. Guys will always respond to sexy—no doubt, but its the whole package that will get into his head, and past the eyes.




http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/advice_for_women.php

How to Find Love Online

This is a totally unscientific rant based on my own observations of people both in real life and on dating sites. I have observed the online dating industry for some time now, more as a curiosity than as a member.  As a member of several dating sites over the years, I have seen first hand how it is that people interact both successfully and unsuccessfully. I have also discussed dating and relationships extensively with people I have met who are/were in all types and phases of relationships.

So what have I found?
Perhaps not too much that has not already been discussed by others in the past, but perhaps with a different twist on it.

When it comes to people meeting in real life, well, that has been going on for millennium, I have absolutely nothing to add on this topic that has not already been hashed out by writers since the time that man first developed writing. 

Internet dating, which is a higher tech offshoot of the matchmaking services that have been around for hundreds of years, is a relatively new beast, and as such, there are some insights that can be passed on that most people have yet to learn.

So lets start with some popular misconceptions:
Dating Sites Have Fool Proof Matching Formulas
False – Some dating sites work very hard trying to perfect their compatibility algorithms but some others just use superficial matching criteria – what is interesting is that neither extreme of these sites perform statistically better than the other.  The reason is that, quite frankly, there are two main obstacles that cannot be overcome when you are trying to match by formula.

It Is Less Work To Find My Match On a Dating Site
False – Once you find someone you are interested in, no matter what the relationship you desire, to get on top of it, you have to spend a lot of time getting to know the person. And at some point you will become comfortable that they are not blowing smoke up your tush. If not, all bets are off and you are back to square one looking for someone else who interests you.

Internet Dating Sites are a Great Place To Find People to Date
True – There is just so many people and so much selection on dating sites, it is almost a walk in the park to find someone to date (for a walk in the park of course).

Dating Sites Are Better At Connecting You To Your Soul Mate.
False – Maybe false is too harsh – it is a definite perhaps, and it depends on your attitude. If you are willing to look outside of your normal comfort zone, you have a better chance finding someone on an internet dating site that you would through your own personal network of friends.


So What Good Are Dating Sites Anyway Well, they are really good for people who are open to discovering more about what they are really interested in. They are good for people who have not been successful finding their soul mate in real life because quite frankly they are looking for the wrong type of person in the wrong places.  If you approach online dating with an open mind, you will likely be able to interact with many more disparate people then you normally hang out with, and in that process, discover more about what you like in other people, which may just change your mind about who you need in your life to complete you.

To that end, you should approach using an online dating system the way you would approach getting an education. It is possible to educate yourself without going to school, but going to a school makes it easier to obtain a well-rounded education. Similarly, it is possible for you to find the love of your life without using a dating site, but you will likely be exposed to a whole lot more varying people at a dating site than you would by tapping into your circle of friends..

So, open your heart and give online dating a try.

You can start here:
http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/onlinedating.php