How to Find Love Online

This article is focused on the use of online dating sites to find love and happiness. I have observed the online dating industry for some time now, more as a curiosity than as a member.  I joined several dating sites some years ago and ended up getting caught up in how it is that people interact online versus real life. I have also discussed dating and relationships extensively with people I have met who are/were in all types and phases of relationships.

So what have I found?
Interestingly enough, not much that has not already been discussed before.

Offline dating has been going on for thousands of years, and I doubt if anyone today could actually find much to add to the existing literature. I will therefore not try to pontificate in any manner on that aspect of dating, other than to note that most people tend to date within an extended community of friends for the most part. 

When it comes to Internet Dating, which has only been in existence since about 1995 or so, there are some insights that can be shared.

So lets start with some popular misconceptions:
Dating Sites Have Wonderful Matching Algorithms That Guarantee Me a Perfect Match
False – No matter how hard dating sites work at perfecting their compatibility formulas, they are handicapped by customers who lie about themselves, and customers who really have no idea what it is they are looking for. When it comes to relationships, people are much better at saying what they do not want than what they do want.

It Is Less Work To Find My Match On a Dating Site
False – To make a long story short, it takes a lot of time getting to know anyone that you hope to be your life partner. You just cannot take any shortcuts here. In fact, for this aspect of using a dating site it takes more effort because of the anonymous nature of the environment. Everyone is using made up handles, so it is not as if you can check with a mutual friend to see what they are really like.

Internet Dating Sites are a Great Place To Find People to Date
True – If you are a person who uses dating to interact with someone that you are interested in; then a dating site is likely to connect you with many more people than you can possibly find via your own means offline.

Dating Sites Are Better At Connecting You To Your Soul Mate.
False – Quantity does not equal quality. Just because you can see and interact with a lot more people online than you can in real life does not mean that you are being exposed to quality people that you have any real compatibility with, and even if you are compatible from an intellectual point of view, there is no guarantee that you will find the chemistry with them that you need to achieve soul mate status.


So What Good Are Dating Sites Anyway. They are dynamite if you are willing to be open and look outside of your normal comfort zone for possible matches. If you are not successful finding someone the normal way, it is often because you are just looking in the wrong places. Dating sites are amazing in the one single fact that everyone on them is looking to date. You do not have to prequalify each introduction with a lot of tap dancing trying to figure out if the person you are talking to is looking for someone.  If you approach online dating with an open mind, you will likely be able to interact with many more disparate people then you normally hang out with, and in that process, discover more about what you like in other people, which may just change your mind about who you need in your life to complete you.

If you approach education with an open mind, you will get 10 times as much out of it than you would if you try to educate yourself within your existing limits of knowledge and biases when you first start the process. Similarly, with dating sites, if you approach them with an open mind, and are willing to interact with people that you would not normally associate with in your normal day-to-day life, you may just find that the love of your life is not what your brain thought it was looking for.

So, open your heart and give online dating a try.

You can start here:
http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/onlinedating.php