Dating Online Insights

Dating Online Survey Results:

The following summary from a study of 100 exurbanites details some insights gained as to how people seek out dates and potential life partners. Online Dating Services may not result in you winning your life partner, but it may be a needed break from all those phony sounding Match.com and e Harmony.com commercials on TV that try to convince you about how lonely you are during late night movies.

<bold>Resulting Dating Insights:</bold>

1)     It is not uncommon for members of the online dating community to be members on various sites at the same time. The attitude is that the more exposure you give yourself to other people, the more likely it is that you will find a match. Sort of like buying several lottery tickets instead of just one. These same people are likely to be dating several different people concurrently hoping to find the one who clicks. Playing the field is a defense mechanism in the online arena. Because of the anonymity of the sites, you cannot tap into you normal social networks to find out about the people you are talking to online, or dating in real life. There is a much higher chance of being taken in by a smooth talker. It is also easy to give your heart away to a loser. Keeping several people “in process” at the same time helps you from “settling” on any one of them prematurely. In conventional dating situations, other than blind dates, you have some concept of how a person interacts with others because you usually have a chance to observe them in action from afar. It is one of the reasons why blind dates get such a bad rap, because you do not know what to expect, nor can you prepare yourself. Online dating does allow some interaction, but meeting in person for the first time has more of the hallmarks of a blind date than it does in conventional dating.

2)     Online Dating is much more superficial – pictures and videos are everything – without them you get almost no action, or attention.  Ladies about having less than average looks. If you do a good job of portraying yourself in both words and pictures of someone who loves to have fun, you will get positive results.  This is a marketing exercise, not a life story exercise. If you are selling beauty products on television you do not explain each step of the research that lead to the product. Although you might mention the research, you tend to focus on the results, and the benefits. Market yourself in a positive and flattering manner. Whatever you do, do not post a picture of yourself that is taken with your web cam – the video quality sucks, and you can never show yourself in a socially fun situation with a web cam If you are a woman, just remember that men see and assume – most do not read much, they look and evaluate visually for the most part, so keep the words to a minimum. For men, you must read the words!! Women are strong communicators and they will say what they are looking for, and they will also say what they are definitely not looking for. Be honest about who or what you are, and do not annoy a women with attention of any sort if you are definitely on her “must not be” list.  In any event, for both men and women, keep the brief and factual (within limits of course – this is marketing after all). If you are lucky, you will find another with a complementary sense of fun and similar interests. Be prepared to use the email and chatting facilities of the online site to get to know people better. Do not try to give your life story in the profile.  Your profile is a 15 second ad spot, not an biography of your life.

3)     Men without jobs have little or no traction on dating sites that are focused on long-term relationships. In their heads, women are looking for winners, not losers. On the other hand, if you connect to a woman's soul, they will often overlook the fact that you are pick up trash for a living, as long as you are able to show her that you have solid future prospects.  By the way, keep information about your personal finances close. There are a lot of gold diggers out there!

4)     BBW women are as disadvantaged as they think they are. If a women is slightly overweight, or is of a set of proportions that the weight that they carry is evenly distributed, most men are okay with it. If you are not wider than you are tall, then likely you have a pretty good chance of finding someone. In any event, most women will post a profile of themselves at a younger and lighter age, and then proceed to lighten the age load a few years on top of that in their profile.  Men are generally more honest about their ages, but may actually be more inclined to lie about their income. You will find however, that men almost never tell the full truth about their body weight. Almost all men show themselves as athletic, or average, almost never as overweight in any manner.

5)     You must have contact with a person for love to develop. You cannot really be in love with someone that you have only talked to on a computer. You must meet in person for love to happen.  You either totally connect and love someone, or you do not. It is the many little interactions between two people that add up to someone falling in love. If you meet someone online, they will likely want to meet in person within two to four weeks. If you are too cautious, then the person will likely meet someone else in the meantime, and you will fail. Don't forget, if you are attracted to them, then others will be too, and since everyone on dating sites are trying to meet as many people as is reasonably possible, you are in a time limited competition to win their hearts.

6)     There is still some negative social pressure with regards to Internet dating, and it is usually from older people these days. The real problem with online personals sites is that they have had a reputation in the past for being the hangouts of losers and predators. Nothing is further from the truth. With this in the back of their minds, people sometimes avoid using dating sites so they will not be branded a loser, or looked at as a potential sexual predictor or something equally disgusting.  The fact is that over 60 million people in North America have used online dating sites in the last few years, and there are just not that many losers and predators in North America. Because of the anonymous nature of dating sites, you are more likely to be targeted by deviants on face book, where everyone can see your real name, than on a dating site, where nobody knows your real name or where you live. People are strangely closed mouthed about telling people that they met online, which leads many people who have never used a dating service to assume it is useless, or worse yet, just a scam. People will admit that they met in line getting an unemployment check, but they will not admit to meeting online for some reason.

7)    Online dating is amazing in it’s ability to connect people who would likely never have met in real life. The fact that everyone on the site is looking to meet someone for the purpose of dating, or establishing a long term relationship, it is incredibly easy to start up a conversation with someone that you have never met. You already have at least one subject in common – dating. Online dating is actually the best forum for people to meet when they are just too busy, too tied up, or just not inclined to be wandering around bar hopping or social clubs trying to meet people. Online dating is the wave of the present and future if you want to find successful and interesting people. Do not expect every match presented to be made in heaven. There will still be some off spec people in the barrel, so keep on trying.


If you are interested in online dating sites, then you might want to check out this resource page:

Online Dating