Dating BDSM

BDSM Online Dating is not for everyone. In case you do not know what it means, BDSM stands for Bondage, Domination, Sado-Masochism. If that gives you an image of people slapping each other black and blue, you need to understand that BDSM is not meant to be that physically abusive. For the most part, those people who get off on BDSM, seldom actually hurt each other, and it they do, it is usually more accidental than planned. More like jamming your finger rather than hitting it with a hammer. If whips are used, they are designed not to cut your skin, and they specially designed not to cut you skin or raise severe welts.. People do not hit hard because the excitement is in the domination or submissive nature of the act, not in causing pain. Slapping your tush can actually bring on a more powerful orgasm. On the other hand, the bondage side of the equation is quite real. There is something about trusting someone to let you go after that can be quite compelling sexually. This is usually fulfilled by just being lightly tied to a bed so that you are under someone's total control when making love. If you ever go to a sex show, there are often several merchants who sell special beds for bondage, or special sheets with tie-down strips on them to facilitate bondage. The buzz is had by either dominating or being dominated. It is about absolute trust. Ideally, they will use your helplessness to bring you into a sexual frenzy that you have to experience to understand.

If I have convinced you to give BDSM a try, then you should try the following link:

BDSM

 

Mature Online Dating Works!

I was in my early fifties and had been divorced for a couple of years. In that time I had not connected with anybody, so, like many other people nowadays, I turned to online dating. I had always assumed that internet dating was something that just younger people did, so I really did not expect very much. Like I said, I was desperate and could not think of anything else to try. I actually was not even going to try online dating, but my friends and sisters sort of twisted my arm to do it. I created a profile that said a bit about myself. I was careful to leave out anything that would let someone find my home or place of work. I am such a Luddite with computers that I had to actually get a friend to upload the photos that my sister selected for my profile. At that point, I just sat back and waited to see what would happen, not expecting too much.

It did not take too long before I was in the thick of things, getting responses, emailing people and setting up dates to meet people if they passed the test I made up for myself. As I got further into it, I decided that there were a few guys that I wanted to meet in person. Chatting and emailing online is one thing, but you need to meet to know if there is any real chemistry between you. I used a restaurant a few blocks from where I worked as my rendezvous. Since I knew some of the staff, I felt safer there than any other place I could think of. With all the e-mails, messages, in person meetings and phone calls I was exhausted.But I forced myself to stick it out. I wasn’t sure how long I could keep this pace up, but I was determined that after a twenty year relationship that ended two years ago I was not going to spend the rest of my life alone.

I felt most comfortable in my life being part of a long term relationship. I thrived on that and really wanted to find someone to have in my life again. I noticed that even though I was still talking to several men, one of them seemed to be on my mind continuously. His profile showed that he was not self absorbed and it was very well written. Articulate but concise. He seemed to be really in touch with the so called “feminine side” of himself. I was surprised about how often he asked me how I felt about things. When you talk to most men about things that are troubling you, they instantly try to tell you how to fix it. He was not like that. He would often talk to me for a long time delving into my feelings about things before ever venturing an opinion. My first instinct was that he was gay and just pulling my leg, but I later realized that hew was the genuine article. He was just a very empathic person who cared about everybody. He could not stand that fact that some people treated women like second class citizens. In fact, he took it as a personal affront. He told me that he had not always been so open minded, but he had spent many years in Europe, and had seen what can happen when people let outside cultures influence society's mores. He had been transferred back to our city fairly recently.

I had traveled to Europe several times. On top of this, we both shared a love of most winter sports. We often chatted about our impression of various cities, and which ski resorts did we like the best.  His picture had looked a little fuzzy so it was difficult to see what he looked like, but I was willing to throw caution to the wind and talk to him anyway. When we first decided to talk over the phone, I was nervous about giving him my number. I convinced him to give me his instead. At first I was too nervous to call him after he gave me his number. I finally did get around to calling him, but it took me a while. It was good that I did.

“He was fantastic, charming so sweet and such a gentleman. He was just so amazing. In real life he was even better than online. So sweet, and always a gentleman. He turned out to be an incredibly sweet and charming guy. Always a gentleman. For that first date we met at a nice little restaurant that we were both familiar with. I got there first, worried that it would make me look needy, but I could not help myself. I am compulsive about being early to everything. My biggest concern was that we would not click. As I sat trying to not look to eager as I gazed at the door, in he walked. He was simply stunning! I managed to pull my jaw off the table by the time he got there. He was just so much more than I expected. He was tall and slim. Dark hair with just a touch of grey at the temples. His suit fit him like a glove. What a picture. I was in complete awe. We talked and laughed and shared some personal stories. Time was streaming by but I could not stop it. I did not want it to have to end. It was too bad that we were only planning a meal together. The time was going by too fast.  Later on he paid the bill and drove me right to my front door. He then leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. I was on cloud nine.

We had several more dates after that, and it seemed that every date was better then the one before. But something began to bother me. I had not been exactly truthful about my age in my profile. My friends had convinced me to exaggerate a little. Just take a few years off and when he finds out later, well maybe it won't matter. I had only shaved three years off of my age, No big deal. But nobody likes to be lied to. It is a breach of trust, and once broken can become a huge issue in a relationship. It was not good that I had started our relationship with a lie. I knew that I needed to tell him the truth, but I kept waiting for the right time to present itself.

He took me to a little club he liked for a drink one night. The waiter is a friend of his so when he asked to see my I.D I knew that Max (my honey) had put him up to it. So just for fun I took my drivers licence out to show him, we all had a good chuckle about it. Max put out his hand and the waiter just passed him my license. He glanced at it, and then took a second look. He stared at me and said, “Wow! It says here you are fifty four!” I just sat there not knowing what to say. Then he started laughing like an idiot! He said, “Well I guess the joke is on me. I lied about my age too!” As it turned out he was older than he stated in his profile. It seems he's two years older than me and not two years younger. We spent the next few minutes talking and laughing about the fact that we both had been caught.

We dated for about six months. In the wee hours of the morning, he called me. I was startled out of a very deep sleep where I was dreaming about cavorting around with him in our mutual all-togethers. He said he needed to talk to me right now, and that It couldn’t wait. He would not tell me anything over the phone. I was on pins and needless for a half hour before he walked in the door, whereupon he said, “I need to tell you something that will not hold anymore!”

I braced myself for the worst, even opening a box of Kleenex because I was sure I was going to need them. As it turns out, I did need the tissues. He got down on one knee, told me I was the best thing that had ever happened to him, that he had been waiting all of his life to find me, and asked me to marry him. Needless to day, after some initial sobbing in happiness, I agreed!

We have been married three years, and so far its been wonderful, successful and fantastic, I feel like such a lucky women to have Max in my life. We are on a perpetual honeymoon. And to think I found him on an online dating site. Someplace that I had thought of as a last chance place to meet someone!

The saga of Max and I is just starting. But I am eternally grateful to the online dating industry for bringing us together. No matter what you think about them right now, don't ever be shy or embarrassed about joining an online dating site. In my opinion, they are the future of courtship.
Below I have posted a link to one of the resource sites that I used. The sites referenced there are some of the best and are well organized. There are so many to choose from you are sure to find what you want. Good luck in your search!

Relationships Advice for Women

Dating Online Insights

Dating Online Survey Results:

The following summary from a study of 100 exurbanites details some insights gained as to how people seek out dates and potential life partners. Online Dating Services may not result in you winning your life partner, but it may be a needed break from all those phony sounding Match.com and e Harmony.com commercials on TV that try to convince you about how lonely you are during late night movies.

<bold>Resulting Dating Insights:</bold>

1)     It is not uncommon for members of the online dating community to be members on various sites at the same time. The attitude is that the more exposure you give yourself to other people, the more likely it is that you will find a match. Sort of like buying several lottery tickets instead of just one. These same people are likely to be dating several different people concurrently hoping to find the one who clicks. Playing the field is a defense mechanism in the online arena. Because of the anonymity of the sites, you cannot tap into you normal social networks to find out about the people you are talking to online, or dating in real life. There is a much higher chance of being taken in by a smooth talker. It is also easy to give your heart away to a loser. Keeping several people “in process” at the same time helps you from “settling” on any one of them prematurely. In conventional dating situations, other than blind dates, you have some concept of how a person interacts with others because you usually have a chance to observe them in action from afar. It is one of the reasons why blind dates get such a bad rap, because you do not know what to expect, nor can you prepare yourself. Online dating does allow some interaction, but meeting in person for the first time has more of the hallmarks of a blind date than it does in conventional dating.

2)     Online Dating is much more superficial – pictures and videos are everything – without them you get almost no action, or attention.  Ladies about having less than average looks. If you do a good job of portraying yourself in both words and pictures of someone who loves to have fun, you will get positive results.  This is a marketing exercise, not a life story exercise. If you are selling beauty products on television you do not explain each step of the research that lead to the product. Although you might mention the research, you tend to focus on the results, and the benefits. Market yourself in a positive and flattering manner. Whatever you do, do not post a picture of yourself that is taken with your web cam – the video quality sucks, and you can never show yourself in a socially fun situation with a web cam If you are a woman, just remember that men see and assume – most do not read much, they look and evaluate visually for the most part, so keep the words to a minimum. For men, you must read the words!! Women are strong communicators and they will say what they are looking for, and they will also say what they are definitely not looking for. Be honest about who or what you are, and do not annoy a women with attention of any sort if you are definitely on her “must not be” list.  In any event, for both men and women, keep the brief and factual (within limits of course – this is marketing after all). If you are lucky, you will find another with a complementary sense of fun and similar interests. Be prepared to use the email and chatting facilities of the online site to get to know people better. Do not try to give your life story in the profile.  Your profile is a 15 second ad spot, not an biography of your life.

3)     Men without jobs have little or no traction on dating sites that are focused on long-term relationships. In their heads, women are looking for winners, not losers. On the other hand, if you connect to a woman's soul, they will often overlook the fact that you are pick up trash for a living, as long as you are able to show her that you have solid future prospects.  By the way, keep information about your personal finances close. There are a lot of gold diggers out there!

4)     BBW women are as disadvantaged as they think they are. If a women is slightly overweight, or is of a set of proportions that the weight that they carry is evenly distributed, most men are okay with it. If you are not wider than you are tall, then likely you have a pretty good chance of finding someone. In any event, most women will post a profile of themselves at a younger and lighter age, and then proceed to lighten the age load a few years on top of that in their profile.  Men are generally more honest about their ages, but may actually be more inclined to lie about their income. You will find however, that men almost never tell the full truth about their body weight. Almost all men show themselves as athletic, or average, almost never as overweight in any manner.

5)     You must have contact with a person for love to develop. You cannot really be in love with someone that you have only talked to on a computer. You must meet in person for love to happen.  You either totally connect and love someone, or you do not. It is the many little interactions between two people that add up to someone falling in love. If you meet someone online, they will likely want to meet in person within two to four weeks. If you are too cautious, then the person will likely meet someone else in the meantime, and you will fail. Don't forget, if you are attracted to them, then others will be too, and since everyone on dating sites are trying to meet as many people as is reasonably possible, you are in a time limited competition to win their hearts.

6)     There is still some negative social pressure with regards to Internet dating, and it is usually from older people these days. The real problem with online personals sites is that they have had a reputation in the past for being the hangouts of losers and predators. Nothing is further from the truth. With this in the back of their minds, people sometimes avoid using dating sites so they will not be branded a loser, or looked at as a potential sexual predictor or something equally disgusting.  The fact is that over 60 million people in North America have used online dating sites in the last few years, and there are just not that many losers and predators in North America. Because of the anonymous nature of dating sites, you are more likely to be targeted by deviants on face book, where everyone can see your real name, than on a dating site, where nobody knows your real name or where you live. People are strangely closed mouthed about telling people that they met online, which leads many people who have never used a dating service to assume it is useless, or worse yet, just a scam. People will admit that they met in line getting an unemployment check, but they will not admit to meeting online for some reason.

7)    Online dating is amazing in it’s ability to connect people who would likely never have met in real life. The fact that everyone on the site is looking to meet someone for the purpose of dating, or establishing a long term relationship, it is incredibly easy to start up a conversation with someone that you have never met. You already have at least one subject in common – dating. Online dating is actually the best forum for people to meet when they are just too busy, too tied up, or just not inclined to be wandering around bar hopping or social clubs trying to meet people. Online dating is the wave of the present and future if you want to find successful and interesting people. Do not expect every match presented to be made in heaven. There will still be some off spec people in the barrel, so keep on trying.


If you are interested in online dating sites, then you might want to check out this resource page:

Online Dating