Sleeping With A Snake!

I first met him at the bus stop. He took the same bus as I did to go to work each day and we would usually joke and chat. He was always a perfect gentleman. We both worked down town right across the street from each other so it was just a matter of time before we met in the food court. That day finally came, we bumped into each other in a line while waiting to pay for lunch and he asked to sit with me. I agreed and we spent the rest of our lunch hour talking and laughing about almost nothing. I thought to my self what a great guy and not bad looking either. But as you know, looks can sometimes be misleading.

He was recently divorced and was still adjusting to single life. He said that dating again was the toughest thing to get used to. I agreed as I was also divorced as well so I understood what he was taking about. He seemed very surprised to find out that I to was divorced, he said that any man would be an idiot to give me up. I said how sweet of you to say that. “Well its true!” he said. “You are pretty special in my eyes, and  I would give my eye teeth if you would go out with me”. So we ended up agreeing to go on a date together.

We had so many things in common. It was inevitable that we very quickly hit it off in a major way. Since both of us were a bit gun shy, we decided to take things a bit slow at first. As we got to know each other better, it was just a matter of time before we felt ready to make the next step. I guess it was only right for both of us to be a little nervous. Even so, we both made a commitment to go to his cottage for a romantic interlude the next weekend.

Well the day came and he drove down to my house to pick me up for our romantic weekend get away. As a matter of fact that’s exactly what I should have told him, “GET AWAY”, but like a love starved teenager I had fallen for a handsome face and a sad story. To my disappointment, the love nest that I had imagined turned out to be about the size of a small woodshed, and the roof had fallen in to boot. It needed a ton of work. I had no idea what he was thinking to take me (or any woman for that matter) there. I am not a super particular person most of the time, but this was so far below my expectations that I was entirely speechless!  We had to sleep in a very small tent that I discovered had a very large snake inside. As I fled into the night screaming in fear, he ran behind me asking what he could do to make the situation more livable. I said I was scared because that is not the type of snake I was expecting!

The next morning I politely packed my things, thanked him for a somewhat interesting evening and told him that I just didn't think it would work. I felt bad as he drove me home, but what else could I do? He totally lied about his love nest to me. What else would he lie to me about in the future?

That night my friend told me about a fantastic link she visited that took her to hundreds of great dating sites. Since I had nothing to lose I decided to give it a try.

I joined at least three different sites that looked like they would meet my needs, but after a few months, I had almost given up hope. It was not as if I was not meeting men, it was just that there was no spark when we finally dated in person. That je ne sais quois is just so necessary for a long term relationship. I had 'settled' the first time around, and I was determined not to make the same mistake again. It was at this point that I met 'him'! He was what I was looking for. Finally! It was as if God had tailor made him for me! We talked online for several weeks and then he gave me his phone number and asked me to give him a call. The first time I called him, his voice seemed very familiar to me. Something was nagging at me that I knew that voice, but I just could not figure out where from. I just put it down to coincidence, and that he just sounded a bit like someone I knew. We laughed and joked as we talked over the next few weeks. I had such an easy time talking to him. I was so joyous I got that link. I still cannot imagine what a better gift could be. I was floating on air. I felt like a teenager again. Bubbling with enthusiasm and overjoyed. All my friends noticed and remarked on it! What a joy he brought to my life!

The only thing that was strange about our online relationship was that I had never seen his face. He would not do video chats, and he would not even send me a picture of himself. Whenever I pressed him on the issue, he said that he did not think that someone should be judged by their looks alone and that he felt that a face to face meeting was the best way to judge someone.The day came for me to meet him. He seemed a bit weird to me when we talked on the phone the day before. He suggested that I would run the other way when I saw him and that left me confused. I was beginning to be concerned about what he looked like. I had visions of the Hump Back of Notre Dame going through my head! Even when I gave him my assurances that I would stay put, he still seemed unconvinced.

Instead of picking me up, he insisted on meeting me at his country place. So he gave me the directions to his place. On the way, I experienced Deja Vu a few times. It was almost as if I knew what was around some of the bends before I got there. As the feeling grew more intense, it finally dawned on my why this was so familiar. This was the same area where the guy with the snakes in his tent lived! I almost turned around right on the spot, but what could I do? I had given him my word. So I kept on going. He met me on the road about a half mile from where I was to meet him, no wonder he was worried I would run.

I jumped out of the car and rushed to the back to open the trunk. I was looking for the tire iron so I could show him what I thought of his duplicity! He ran up to me and pinned my arms before I could do anything rash. I told me to please relax so that I could see his real surprise. We walked the rest of the way to where we had set up the tent so long ago. I kept looking for snakes, so I was not paying that much attention. When he told me to look up, I was stunned! I was looking at the cutest summer cottage that I had ever seen.. He told me he wanted to contact me earlier because he had really fallen for me. He said he knew he wouldn't have much of a chance with me unless he could prove that he was a decent, caring, hard-working person and not just another kook.

He told me he decided to finish the cottage for me first, because I deserved something special and nice. He took out a loan and used all his savings. He did all that just for me! “WOW!” I was overwhelmed. I began to cry to think that someone could care about me so much.

That was quite some time ago now, and things are even better now than they were then. The more I am with him, the more I love him. We got formally hitched a few months after that. The more time I spent with him, the more I realized just how special he was and how much more I loved him.

Now technically, I did not meet this guy on that dating site really, but if I had not met him again anonymously, I would likely have never given him that second chance. Ouch! Thank God for that dating site! My best friend has earned my perpetual gratitude for giving me that URL. I am forever grateful to her.

So if you are in that same lonely situation that I was in, and see no way out, then click the link below. It was my key to happiness, and hopefully it can be yours as well.

Meet Your Perfect Match Like I Did!

Sex and The Great Outdoors

Even if you are not an outdoorsy kind of person, if you are dating over the course of a summer, you are likely to find yourself and your date communing with good old mother nature at some point. Whether that means camping or staying at a cottage, there will be many romantic moments as you enjoy yourself out in 'the wilds'. The fresh air of the country coupled with long lazy days and stimulating sunsets are likely to put both of you in a sensual/sexual state of mind. The nights will also add their share of enjoyment as you sneak down to the water to skinny-dip under the full moon and the wash of stars in the milky-way. Likely all of these activities will result in 'sex in the wild'. There is however an element of health risk involved, so you should not just do the 'down and dirty' without being prepared. Big city living means that you do not have some of the natural resistance to bacteria that your cave dwelling ancestors did, so you must be more prepared than they were able to be.

Problem: Sex in the Dirt (and Not the Down and Dirty Type Dirt

Being outdoors exposes you to a lot of dirt and grim. It is just a natural outcome of being outdoors. It cannot be helped. Normal outdoor activities like starting a fire, cooking over a campfire, cutting wood, and just the smoke and bug sprays leaves you a much less desirable person to be around from an intimacy point of view. No matter how amorous you might feel, the Hollywood movie version of an idyllic and loving camping trip or nature walk are unlikely to happen unless you take care of basic sanitation necessities. So there are a few recommendations. Wash up thoroughly before bedtime. When roughing it in the bush, take a container of 'wet wipes' with you to help keep yourself sanitary in your nether regions.

Solution: Wash As Much As Possible

There are ways around this pitfall, of course. In many national parks, or even state level parks, there are usually shower facilities. Of course this does not help you if you are on an overnight trip on a backpacking trail and miles away from a shower. Going during off peak hours – like after midnight – is a way avoid facility overload. Sneak in there together, and get dirty after you’ve got clean. An added bonus is that the sound of the shower will mask most modest sex noises, and will provide easy clean-up when you’ve finished. Be prepared for some quizzical and accusing looks if there are people waiting for the shower when the two of you exit. Odds are you’ll still be in post-coital bliss, so you won’t mind much.

Problem:  Privacy

It doesn’t take an acoustics engineer to realize that the millimeter of nylon that comprises your tent wall won’t do much to keep your sex noises private. And since sound travels so well over water, even people on the other side of the lake will be able to hear what you sound like when you’re trying the Inverted Reverse Pile-driver. Even worse, if you’ve gone camping with friends and their kids, there are going to be a lot of questions in the morning about the strange noises they’ve heard.

 Solution: Long Nature Treks

This one works like a charm, as long as you remember some basic safety tips. First, don’t go where there are bears. They can kill the mood and you’re partner. Second, don’t go at night – finding your way back in the dark when you’re brain has been scrambled by some hot sex is too difficult. Third, bring a blanket for comfort and to keep from getting grass and sand from getting in your various hairy parts. You should also let your camping buddies know where you are going in case you do not come back.  If you do not turn up on time because you just got too caught up in sex, then they can send the Rangers looking for you.

So this summer, enjoy copious, carefree, camping coitus carefully!

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