Take Your Hands Off Me

A while back, I found myself all on my own again, when my husband, and father of my 2 children, left us. For the next while, after finding a job, I had to work every day and look after my kids as best possible. Needless to say, my social life was non-existent. I had two good friends in similar circumstances who helped me through this period. We often visited each other and talked about various things. One favourite topic of conversation was our dream man. Of course we didn't really expect to meet our “Mr Perfect” anytime soon.

An acquaintance of mine suggested one day that I try out a new dating site that she had just heard about. I'll call it, “MEN-R-US” to avoid any liability issues so I went online to give it a go. I met this moron, I mean male the first night on the site, he was quite comical, seemed like he had a head on his shoulders, and had a decent vocabulary. As we chatted with each other over a few weeks, I let him know that I had not been with a man in quite a while, and needed to take things slow. I let him know upfront that I had two children because I wanted to be honest with him from the start, he informed me that he also had a child so it was no problem because he loved children. He said that he loved kids and that being with his son was the biggest joy in his life. With everything looking positive and no negatives from what I could see, I decided that it it would be okay to go out on a date with him.

Well on the evening of our date I ran around like headless chicken picking out clothes, picking up one of my friends who was going to babysit, getting my hair done (you know the whole nine yards thing) just to look my best for this hunk, at least that’s how he looked in his profile photo. My friend told me to calm down before I hyperventilated, she told me to try not to look too needy or I would scare him off.  “Oh my god if only that had been true!” In any event, I finally calmed down by going outside to wait for him. Finally there he was! I eagerly rushed forward to set my eyes on the incredible body, great hair, and green eyes. When I bent down to say hello and open the car door I realized I had made a mistake, it wasn’t him! I thought, “please god tell me its not him!” But unfortunately to my horror it was. I was so stunned that I just stood there like a dumb mute. Not knowing what else to do, I silently got into the car.

Well, at least it was not all bad. The rug on his head looked like it was skinned from the hind end of a labrador retriever, and I like labrador retrievers. He must have posted a picture of someone else. He did not even begin to look like his online picture.  He didn't have any hair!  He was waring some kind of toupee and I think it was on backwards or inside out or something. He did not have green eyes like his picture. They were bloodshot, dark, and somewhat shifty. He did not have the well toned muscles either. He looked like he had not seen the inside of a gym since high school (if he got that far) and about the only exercise he had gotten in the last five years hoisting drinks in a bar He told me he was taking me to a top notch restaurant. As we pulled up to the “Pig And Trough”.  I prayed that no one I knew would see me with this dork, not just for my own sake but because I did not think my children could ever live it down.

We were placed in a corner table.. Actually it didn't look too bad on the inside. We ordered our meal of fish and sweet potato fries. He kept trying to cop a feel of just about every part of my body within reach. I gradually inched my chair back away from the table in self defence. He made a comment about how he liked women like me because we had not been with a real man in so long that we were desperate for sex. I politely told him if I wanted to be with a real man I would not be here with him. I have to give the guy points for persistence. After slapping his had off of me a few more times he asked be to dance. Always the gracious lady, I said yes. What was I thinking? Once again, I had to keep removing his hands from various parts of my anatomy. I guess to show me what a great catch he was he decided to show off his dancing prowess. He spun me around so fast that my hand slipped out of his and I went flying into the bar and hurt myself. Well that was about all I could take. I stormed out of the restaurant and caught a cab outside to the hospital. I was lucky that my broken nose set almost straight. In any event it is a constant reminder that I need to be more careful.

That was the last time I took dating advice from anybody. I decided that I was going to spend more time making sure that any sites that I used were legitimate before joining them.


During my site research, I found the following link, and it made it easy for me to select sites that were the best for me.:

Personals Online