Please Tell Me Those Are Socks In Your Pants

A while back, I found myself all on my own again, after being abandoned by the father of my two  children. For the next while, after finding a job, I had to work every day and look after my kids as best possible. Needless to say, my social life was non-existent. I had two good friends in similar circumstances who helped me through this period. What social life we had was usually at one of our homes together, snacking, watching TV, or just talking. Often our conversations wandered into what type of man we would like to have in our lives the next time love came calling. None of us ever thought for a minute that we would meet our dream boat any time soon.

A friend of mine suggested that maybe I try out this brand new dating site that had just started up. I will refer to this site as Dum-asses-r-us to avoid getting into any liability issues. I met this moron, I mean man (loosely) in my first week on the site, he sounded very intelligent, funny and from what he was telling me seemed very well rounded. We chatted back and forth for a few weeks, as I informed him that I wanted to take things slow and that it had been a long time since I had been with a man in any kind of a relationship. I brought up the subject of my children early on, and he was fine with that because he said he had a son as well. He said that he loved kids and that being with his son was the biggest joy in his life. Everything seemed good to me, so I agreed to go out for dinner and dancing with him.

I went all out for that date! Hair, manicure, new dress, everything! I had arranged for a good friend to babysit and had picked her up earlier. As I sat there putting on my makeup, I was totally stressed out that he would not find me acceptable. I have to admit that I was halfway in love with the guy and I had not even met him. I really wanted this to work out. My sitter friend told me that I was acting too needy and that I might scare him off.  If only I had, this story would have had a different ending! So after collecting my self I went outside to wait for him as he was going to swing by and pick me up. Then all of a sudden there he was! I couldn't wait to get a look at that gorgeous muscular body, that thick blond hair and those beautiful green eyes. I bent over to say hi and was shocked senseless! Never in my life was I in a situation where I hoped I was dreaming and would wake up. I kept thinking, “Please do not let it be him!” But alas, he was my date. The real life image was such a letdown. I was actually in shock! I just stood there outside the car not knowing if I should run or just break down and cry, so I got in.

All the way to the restaurant I keep asking my self why are you in a car with a guy who looks like hes wearing a squirrel on his head. Obviously it was not his picture on his profile, he certainly didn't have blond hair.  He looked to be bald under that cheap rug. But the more I looked at it, the more it seemed that he just had it on wrong. Backwards or something stupid like that. His eyes were not the amazing green of the online profile either. He had dark eyes that were all bloodshot. I didn't see any muscles either, he look like a crack addict. He told me he was taking me to a top notch restaurant. As we pulled up to the “Pig And Trough”.  The only good thing about the chosen venue was that it was in an area of town I did not frequent, so it was unlikely that anybody I knew would see me with this moron.

The waiter put us in a corner table. At least it had a table cloth and a candle for ambiance. It was actually not that bad looking from the inside. The decor was nice, and the waiters were all dressed in suits and ties. Maybe his idea of classy was not that bad after all. I had a chicken Caesar and he had pork chops. He had a bad case of roman hands and Russian fingers if you get my drift. My hand was sore from slapping at him before the entree was served. He made a comment that single mothers like me were the best because they wanted sex so bad. I politely told him that I must be desperate if I had stooped to be here with him. I have to give the guy points for persistence. After slapping his had off of me a few more times he asked be to dance. Always the gracious lady, I said yes. What was I thinking? This guy just had no clue that he had already lost the war. He kept trying to cop a feel of just about any part of my anatomy that was close to hand. On top of that, he seemed to think he could turn the evening around by impressing me with his slick dancing. He spun me around so fast that my hand slipped out of his and I went flying into the bar and hurt myself. Well that was all I could take! I got up with my nose bleeding, slapped his face and stomped out of the restaurant. I made my way to the hospital and had my nose set. My new dress was ruined. And now I would have a bump on my nose to remind me of that horrible man!

That's the last time I took any dating advice from a friend. I decided then and there that  I was only dealing with legitimate dating sites that I could trust. Hopefully ones who's clientele does not consist of touchy, feely, sex hungry lunatics.


While I was researching dating sites, I stumbled across the following link, and it helped me zero in on the sites that I finally joined:

Personals Online

Online Chat

A guy I've known all my life has never had any good luck, one day as children he climbed a hugh tree that looked like a totem pole in the front yard and “you guessed it” he got stuck up there. As the fire department arrived a crowd began to gather in the front yard to see the idiot  that got stuck in the tree, they used a large ladder which one of the fireman climbed to grab him and help him down to the waiting arms of his grandmother. As I watched in amazement I thought ”why would anyone want to embarrass them self like that”, but knowing this guy it wasn’t hard to figure out why. One summer afternoon we decided to go swimming at the local park, it was the favorite place for all the kids to swim and as usual trouble followed, he decided to show off his diving techniques against my protests and as he hit the water his bathing suit fell off, again another crowd.

Things didn't seem to get any better for him when he started secondary school, he got the hots for some girl but unfortunately she couldn't stand him.One day she told him if he wanted to get lucky he should meet her in the school that evening and to get ready for a big surprise. I tried to explain to him that it was trick, but he wouldn't listen. Unbeknown to him she rounded up all the girls in school to wait in the library, she then told him to undress down to his shorts and meet her in the gym and he complied. As he strolled in to the gym the lights came on and there he was standing in front of half the school in his jockey shorts, there’s another embarrassing moment.

We both started college the same time and I was praying things were going to get better for him, but it never happened. He really didn't have many friends so if someone asked him to tag along with them he would jump at the chance to meet some girls and hopefully make  a few friends, but more times than not they were only interested in making him look like an idiot. One evening a bunch of creeps invited him to go skinny dipping with them in the park pool. I warned him against going but he was rearing to go. They goaded him to be the first one in and as he got into the water, they all jumped into their cars, took his clothes and took off into the night air leaving him there wet and naked. As he scurried down the road clutching his penis he was spotted by several motorists who then called the police, he was told he was going to be charged with indecent exposure but when he explained to them what happened they felt sorry for him and called me to come down with some clothes for him to put on and take him home. I really felt sorry for him and it made me mad to see people treating him like that. He was, and still is, give a stranger a helping hand.

While my girlfriend and I were visiting him one evening she suggested that he try an online chat service, she told him that he can sit in the comfort of his own home and since he will be chatting online there’s nothing to be afraid of. She told him that he can get to know the woman by chatting with her and then later on maybe exchange photos, and if she is looking forward to meeting him just take it from there. I told him you're a great guy and you have a lot to offer a women and it hurts me to see you by yourself. I want you to be happy so please try it for me.

After several failed attempts at different sites he finally discovered what he was looking for. He found a link that lead him to some of the best sites and the the one hes been looking for. He has never looked back and I can see in her eyes that she really loves him too. That was a year ago and are still so much in love.

So take it from me some chat services do work. You just have to look for one that knows what your looking for. So if you're having trouble meeting someone and need a little help then try the link below.
http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/videodating.php

Make Love Like a Porn Star

Many women would like to capture the love and attention of that special someone in their lives. The key problem is that most women are somewhat clueless as to what really satisfies a man in a way that moves his soul. Why do men look at porn movies or a blue movie of some sort? Is it the amazing acting? Likely not! There is something more at stake there.

The attraction is the idea of having a woman do whatever it takes to please him. Even if it is not quite everything, at least most things. A woman who is willing to totally satisfy him sexually, and is open enough to tell him exactly what he needs to do to please her as well.. Shy does not work here!! If you want to pleasure your man, then you have to be willing to take the initiative, surprise him by being aggressive about wanting sex at least half of the time. Nothing turns a man off more than being forced to beg for sex. You may not see it that way, but if you always expect the man to make the first move, after a while he will feel that they only way he can get laid is to beg for it.

Read more about it here:
 Make Love Like A Porn Star



If you are are interested in behaving like a porn star, then find a list of great places to find men here:
 Adult Dating Sites