Please Tell Me Those Are Socks In Your Pants

A while back, I found myself all on my own again, after being abandoned by the father of my two  children. For the next while, after finding a job, I had to work every day and look after my kids as best possible. Needless to say, my social life was non-existent. I had two good friends in similar circumstances who helped me through this period. What social life we had was usually at one of our homes together, snacking, watching TV, or just talking. Often our conversations wandered into what type of man we would like to have in our lives the next time love came calling. None of us ever thought for a minute that we would meet our dream boat any time soon.

A friend of mine suggested that maybe I try out this brand new dating site that had just started up. I will refer to this site as Dum-asses-r-us to avoid getting into any liability issues. I met this moron, I mean man (loosely) in my first week on the site, he sounded very intelligent, funny and from what he was telling me seemed very well rounded. We chatted back and forth for a few weeks, as I informed him that I wanted to take things slow and that it had been a long time since I had been with a man in any kind of a relationship. I brought up the subject of my children early on, and he was fine with that because he said he had a son as well. He said that he loved kids and that being with his son was the biggest joy in his life. Everything seemed good to me, so I agreed to go out for dinner and dancing with him.

I went all out for that date! Hair, manicure, new dress, everything! I had arranged for a good friend to babysit and had picked her up earlier. As I sat there putting on my makeup, I was totally stressed out that he would not find me acceptable. I have to admit that I was halfway in love with the guy and I had not even met him. I really wanted this to work out. My sitter friend told me that I was acting too needy and that I might scare him off.  If only I had, this story would have had a different ending! So after collecting my self I went outside to wait for him as he was going to swing by and pick me up. Then all of a sudden there he was! I couldn't wait to get a look at that gorgeous muscular body, that thick blond hair and those beautiful green eyes. I bent over to say hi and was shocked senseless! Never in my life was I in a situation where I hoped I was dreaming and would wake up. I kept thinking, “Please do not let it be him!” But alas, he was my date. The real life image was such a letdown. I was actually in shock! I just stood there outside the car not knowing if I should run or just break down and cry, so I got in.

All the way to the restaurant I keep asking my self why are you in a car with a guy who looks like hes wearing a squirrel on his head. Obviously it was not his picture on his profile, he certainly didn't have blond hair.  He looked to be bald under that cheap rug. But the more I looked at it, the more it seemed that he just had it on wrong. Backwards or something stupid like that. His eyes were not the amazing green of the online profile either. He had dark eyes that were all bloodshot. I didn't see any muscles either, he look like a crack addict. He told me he was taking me to a top notch restaurant. As we pulled up to the “Pig And Trough”.  The only good thing about the chosen venue was that it was in an area of town I did not frequent, so it was unlikely that anybody I knew would see me with this moron.

The waiter put us in a corner table. At least it had a table cloth and a candle for ambiance. It was actually not that bad looking from the inside. The decor was nice, and the waiters were all dressed in suits and ties. Maybe his idea of classy was not that bad after all. I had a chicken Caesar and he had pork chops. He had a bad case of roman hands and Russian fingers if you get my drift. My hand was sore from slapping at him before the entree was served. He made a comment that single mothers like me were the best because they wanted sex so bad. I politely told him that I must be desperate if I had stooped to be here with him. I have to give the guy points for persistence. After slapping his had off of me a few more times he asked be to dance. Always the gracious lady, I said yes. What was I thinking? This guy just had no clue that he had already lost the war. He kept trying to cop a feel of just about any part of my anatomy that was close to hand. On top of that, he seemed to think he could turn the evening around by impressing me with his slick dancing. He spun me around so fast that my hand slipped out of his and I went flying into the bar and hurt myself. Well that was all I could take! I got up with my nose bleeding, slapped his face and stomped out of the restaurant. I made my way to the hospital and had my nose set. My new dress was ruined. And now I would have a bump on my nose to remind me of that horrible man!

That's the last time I took any dating advice from a friend. I decided then and there that  I was only dealing with legitimate dating sites that I could trust. Hopefully ones who's clientele does not consist of touchy, feely, sex hungry lunatics.


While I was researching dating sites, I stumbled across the following link, and it helped me zero in on the sites that I finally joined:

Personals Online