Friday, August 26, 2011

Why Use an Online Dating Site



You just have to love one of the best aspects of the Internet, and that is Online Dating. When you reflect on the entire concept of meeting someone on an Online Dating Site, you just have to admire how much it totally simplifies the entire process of meeting people. In fact, you can browse profiles, short list the ones who interest you, and even lurk on chat rooms to see how they interact with other people before you even have to make any overtures in direct communication. No struggling for an opening gambit, no long silences when you struggle to come up with an answer to their comments dissing something that you feel strongly in favor of – none of that crap. You no longer have to dodge the "just before closing time" desperation moves from people that you would just as soon avoid. Even better is the fact that if you have a bad reaction to them you do not have to take pains to hide your feelings from showing on your face.

One thing that I find a bit strange about online dating is the openness of the profiles. People will tell you so much up front that quite frankly I would prefer to find out in bits and pieces later. You will find that many people who join an online dating site will give you a full discourse on their personal lives and desires. Maybe it's just me. Maybe those are the sorts of things you want to know about before hand so you can dodge the proverbial bullet, so to speak. It's hard to say. I'm on the fence about these sorts of things, myself. On one hand, I like to know what I'm getting in to, on the other, sometimes there's such thing as too much information.

There is another aspect that you need to consider, and that is your personal comfort with meeting people in person for the first time.  There have been a few instances of problems with meeting people on dating sites, but probably much less than what happens when you pick up someone at a bar. It is sensible to take precautions like keeping the venue in a public place and keeping it public. Meet for a drink or a coffee the first time you get together rather than for a full date. Just pretend you are your parents and you are going out for your first date. What kinds of things did they expect you to do? Just take similar precautions and you should be okay. Avoid totally free dating sites. You will find more predators in totally free dating sites because they can contact you with a totally assumed alias. Paid sites are more difficult for predators to use bogus information on, so they usually avoid them

Other than that, I can only say good things about meeting people online. If you take the right precautions, you can have a great time. There's also the added mystery: what do they sound like (unless you have already seen them via anonymous video chat), what will they be wearing? I am also always nervous as to how I will measure up in turn. From my perspective though, this is nothing more than I experience when walking up to a hot somebody in a bar and introducing myself.

Most of my friends feel that meeting someone online is just a better forum for exploring a new relationship. Aside of the initial pre-contact screening where you filter out people with three eyes and stuff, people using online dating sites tend to focus on the intellect and communication first and foremost. This may be largely because you cannot be influenced by pheromones, ambiance, or clothing which might draw you into a relationship with someone that you are just not intellectually compatible with. Although not the majority, some people are happy talking online for days, weeks and even months before they meet and they swear up and down that it makes a better, stronger date or relationship. Personally, I love the conversation bits. Starting off with a few topics (music, TV, movies etc.) and growing into a full blown conversation frenzy about all kinds of things like work, friends, funny stories etc. Some people worry that if you start off that way, you'll run out of things to talk about – I think it's quite the opposite. When I get started with people, I can't run out of things to talk about...all the e-mails back and forth have done is put ideas in each others heads and told us all we need to know to keep things going.

I have met a lot of people on dating sites that ended up just being friends. We had tons in common, but whne we met in person, nothing clicked. Kinda like a sibling reaction. Love them to death, but not in a sexual way. In a real way though, whatever sort of person you're interested in meeting, friend, date, husband/wife, whatever, online is a great way to go. With all the free online dating sites and common interest forums, you can find whoever you're looking for.

Dating sites are just a natural offshoot of what it is that the Internet does best, and that is to connect people and keep people connected, even at a distance. The Internet is not going away any time soon, and as a consequence, neither are dating sites. Just go for it!

If you are interested in online dating sites, but are not sure where to start, then check out this link:

Online Dating Sites


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