Showing posts with label Online Internet Dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Online Internet Dating. Show all posts

Thursday, March 29, 2012

How to Find Love Online



This article is focused on the use of online dating sites to find love and happiness. I have observed the online dating industry for some time now, more as a curiosity than as a member.  I joined several dating sites some years ago and ended up getting caught up in how it is that people interact online versus real life. I have also discussed dating and relationships extensively with people I have met who are/were in all types and phases of relationships.

So what have I found?
Interestingly enough, not much that has not already been discussed before.

Offline dating has been going on for thousands of years, and I doubt if anyone today could actually find much to add to the existing literature. I will therefore not try to pontificate in any manner on that aspect of dating, other than to note that most people tend to date within an extended community of friends for the most part. 

When it comes to Internet Dating, which has only been in existence since about 1995 or so, there are some insights that can be shared.

So lets start with some popular misconceptions:
Dating Sites Have Wonderful Matching Algorithms That Guarantee Me a Perfect Match
False – No matter how hard dating sites work at perfecting their compatibility formulas, they are handicapped by customers who lie about themselves, and customers who really have no idea what it is they are looking for. When it comes to relationships, people are much better at saying what they do not want than what they do want.

It Is Less Work To Find My Match On a Dating Site
False – To make a long story short, it takes a lot of time getting to know anyone that you hope to be your life partner. You just cannot take any shortcuts here. In fact, for this aspect of using a dating site it takes more effort because of the anonymous nature of the environment. Everyone is using made up handles, so it is not as if you can check with a mutual friend to see what they are really like.

Internet Dating Sites are a Great Place To Find People to Date
True – If you are a person who uses dating to interact with someone that you are interested in; then a dating site is likely to connect you with many more people than you can possibly find via your own means offline.

Dating Sites Are Better At Connecting You To Your Soul Mate.
False – Quantity does not equal quality. Just because you can see and interact with a lot more people online than you can in real life does not mean that you are being exposed to quality people that you have any real compatibility with, and even if you are compatible from an intellectual point of view, there is no guarantee that you will find the chemistry with them that you need to achieve soul mate status.


So What Good Are Dating Sites Anyway. They are dynamite if you are willing to be open and look outside of your normal comfort zone for possible matches. If you are not successful finding someone the normal way, it is often because you are just looking in the wrong places. Dating sites are amazing in the one single fact that everyone on them is looking to date. You do not have to prequalify each introduction with a lot of tap dancing trying to figure out if the person you are talking to is looking for someone.  If you approach online dating with an open mind, you will likely be able to interact with many more disparate people then you normally hang out with, and in that process, discover more about what you like in other people, which may just change your mind about who you need in your life to complete you.

If you approach education with an open mind, you will get 10 times as much out of it than you would if you try to educate yourself within your existing limits of knowledge and biases when you first start the process. Similarly, with dating sites, if you approach them with an open mind, and are willing to interact with people that you would not normally associate with in your normal day-to-day life, you may just find that the love of your life is not what your brain thought it was looking for.

So, open your heart and give online dating a try.

You can start here:
http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/onlinedating.php


Monday, August 1, 2011

The Methods to Maintain a Healthy Relationship




It appears to me that a lot of couples these days, forget who they started out being.Many couples forget their roots once they become a couple, they often lose track of the reasons why they bonded in the first place. Why is that? As individuals do we really change that much? I don't think so. So why the drift? Often we just get comfortable and lazy. So, how do we fix this you ask—by nipping it in the bud before it gets to the point of no return.

You should reflect on your relationship and what has changed—likely there was there more kissing, touching, texting and bantering than now . Those early connections not only moved the relationship forward initially, they are also instrumental in keeping the relationship fresh now. It all used to come so easy with the excitement of having a new partner - do we have to let that excitement die? For a long term relationship to succeed for the long term, a lot of work is required from both parties. Stress is the usual place to put the blame, but that is not always applicable. Many of the issues were probably the ones that made us closer in the first place.


If we are like most couples, we just get lazy. Both partners get into their comfort zone, and let things go,and before you know it their at that point where they never thought they'd be. Men for instance, start ogling more at other women, and making comments about how good looking they are, and they forget about the one their with. Women might take a look at the cute butt of some hot guy, and romanticize about them. The point is we stop complimenting each other, and for the person at the other end of this scenario it can be quite a let down. We make each other feel less attractive, less desirable and less needed. Most times were even afraid to say something for fear of upsetting the other person even though their actions have made us angry. Women you need to speak up, and express your disapproval, and men you need to listen without getting your backs up, and vice versa. We need to always be aware of our partners feelings - to build a lifelong romance takes work, commitment, understanding and tolerance of each others viewpoints. Here are a few things we can do to make our relationships stay healthy:


   1.

      Make a conscious effort to compliment your partner on a daily basis- you will be surprised at how how much a compliment means to your partner, and how good it makes them feel
   2.

      Tell them you love them --- sometimes we don't hear this enough
   3.

      Men stop ogling and women stop checking out cute butts.
   4.

      Dishonesty is the root of all relationship dissension – make a habit of telling the truth, even if it might lead to embarrassing explanations.
   5.

      No matter how busy you are, and other than sleeping at night, make sure you set aside at least an hour a day to be alone together
   6.

      Communicate- tell your partner how you feel, and work things out before they become worse than they are.
   7.

      Start your day off with a kiss and a statement that re-enforces your love and commitment to each other.
   8.

      Be relaxed and do not be afraid of public displays of affection – some public kissing and tenderness will exhibit to the world how you care about your partner and broadcast to them that you love them and want to make sure that everyone knows it
   9.

      Don't be so serious...Laugh, smile, you know that saying “Partners that laugh together stay together” Its so true.....
  10.

      Never go to bed angry – talk it out and work it out – the best thing for a relationship is a kiss before you go to sleep. The second best thing is sex before you go to sleep. You cannot have the second without the first.


Relationships all have their ups, and downs, but if you have heart, and desire to make it work it will blossom into something special. So, don't let that spark creep away- follow the above rules, and create some of your own a long the way....just have fun if you can dream about it then you can achieve it..


If this sounds like your relationship and  your looking for more links to some greats sites, visit the link below.

http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/datingandhealthadvice.php

Saturday, June 4, 2011

How to Find Love Online

This is a totally unscientific rant based on my own observations of people both in real life and on dating sites. I have observed the online dating industry for some time now, more as a curiosity than as a member.  As a member of several dating sites over the years, I have seen first hand how it is that people interact both successfully and unsuccessfully. I have also discussed dating and relationships extensively with people I have met who are/were in all types and phases of relationships.

So what have I found?
Perhaps not too much that has not already been discussed by others in the past, but perhaps with a different twist on it.

When it comes to people meeting in real life, well, that has been going on for millennium, I have absolutely nothing to add on this topic that has not already been hashed out by writers since the time that man first developed writing. 

Internet dating, which is a higher tech offshoot of the matchmaking services that have been around for hundreds of years, is a relatively new beast, and as such, there are some insights that can be passed on that most people have yet to learn.

So lets start with some popular misconceptions:
Dating Sites Have Fool Proof Matching Formulas
False – Some dating sites work very hard trying to perfect their compatibility algorithms but some others just use superficial matching criteria – what is interesting is that neither extreme of these sites perform statistically better than the other.  The reason is that, quite frankly, there are two main obstacles that cannot be overcome when you are trying to match by formula.

It Is Less Work To Find My Match On a Dating Site
False – Once you find someone you are interested in, no matter what the relationship you desire, to get on top of it, you have to spend a lot of time getting to know the person. And at some point you will become comfortable that they are not blowing smoke up your tush. If not, all bets are off and you are back to square one looking for someone else who interests you.

Internet Dating Sites are a Great Place To Find People to Date
True – There is just so many people and so much selection on dating sites, it is almost a walk in the park to find someone to date (for a walk in the park of course).

Dating Sites Are Better At Connecting You To Your Soul Mate.
False – Maybe false is too harsh – it is a definite perhaps, and it depends on your attitude. If you are willing to look outside of your normal comfort zone, you have a better chance finding someone on an internet dating site that you would through your own personal network of friends.


So What Good Are Dating Sites Anyway Well, they are really good for people who are open to discovering more about what they are really interested in. They are good for people who have not been successful finding their soul mate in real life because quite frankly they are looking for the wrong type of person in the wrong places.  If you approach online dating with an open mind, you will likely be able to interact with many more disparate people then you normally hang out with, and in that process, discover more about what you like in other people, which may just change your mind about who you need in your life to complete you.

To that end, you should approach using an online dating system the way you would approach getting an education. It is possible to educate yourself without going to school, but going to a school makes it easier to obtain a well-rounded education. Similarly, it is possible for you to find the love of your life without using a dating site, but you will likely be exposed to a whole lot more varying people at a dating site than you would by tapping into your circle of friends..

So, open your heart and give online dating a try.

You can start here:
http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/onlinedating.php